Conversation between me & the Cable Lady

Cable Lady (CL) - This is CL, how can I help you today?

Me - I would like to switch my cable bill from my brothers name into my name.

CL - okay, can I get your address/bill number/social security number/bank account number/pin/a pint of your blood?

Me - yes, but first, is this going to cost me anything to simply switch names?

CL - It shouldn't

Me - okay (delete part about numbers)

CL - alright, I'm going to disconnet the services and reconnect them in your name, but first I'm going to need to run a credit background check on you.

Me - excuse me

CL - yes, I need your (blah, blah, blah) and a credit card number

Me - why do you need the credit card number

CL- it costs $10 for a background check

Me - why do you need a background check if I'm already the one paying the bills - I just want you to change the name on the account; plus you said this isn't going to cost me anything

CL - I said it "shouldn't"

Me - but now you're saying it does

CL - does what?

Me - cost me something

CL - no, switching the name does not cost anything, its the background check that costs $10.

Me - nevermind

CL - excuse me?

Me -nevermind, I'll just keep my $10 and continue to pay the bills, even though they are in my brother's name

CL - but we'll need to do a background check

Me - you're telling me that I am not allowed to pay the cable bill unless I have a clean background check?

CL - this is just a precaution.

Me - So, if you do a background check & it comes back bad, then you aren't going to allow me to pay you money that I owe you?

CL - not exactly

Me - lets just forget that I called.

CL - okay.